Two Types of Tough People

There are two types of tough people out there, that are fundamentally incompatible with each other. One is the type that choose to be this way. The other is someone who became this way due to circumstances.

Tough by Choice

It will begin with though by choice type. This is the simpler of two. These are just people who find toughness and strength appealing, so they choose to pursue it on purpose. 

Anime examples of that would be Berserk, Samurai Champloo and likely Cowboy Bebop. Also, characters such as Cornelia or Kallen. People in Code Geass subs who defend Kallen are fundamentally of this type. 

There are likely more like that, but I am not fan of them as I do not like this type at all.

In real life they probably do gym, eat steroids and camp outdoors as leisure and so on.

Their value system entirely revolves around though - wimp axis. Though good, wimp bad, oogha boogha. They unironically measure person worth based on how many times he can lift some stupid weight in gym. The also find value in pain and other such crazy things.

Because of that they are drown to everything they perceive as tough, which is a mistake. After all, not everyone who is tough thinks the same way as they do.

Even if some of them say phrases such as "thug life chose me", that is still a choice to take pride in such things as toughness. Tough by circumstances person would not want to flaunt toughness at all and would rather keep it hidden. Like Cid Kagenou, who is pretending to be very average person.

Tough by Circumstances

Second type is the more complex one. Tough by circumstances did not wish to become this way at all, but happenstances made them so.

Anime examples would be Black Lagoon, Gyakkyou Burai Kaiji (1st season only), Phantom, Requiem for the Phantom, Lelouch and CC from Code Geass.

This is the type I can understand and relate to, because my own circumstances were not kind to me.

These are people with some hard childhood and other hard past experiences, that traumatized them. In some cases, these experiences made them tougher but not always.

They do not go to gym or camp outside for leisure. They could not give a fuck about getting any stronger or tougher, neither can they understand people who do.

While tough by choice people might find tough by circumstances people as attractive or even more attractive as their own type, the opposite is not true. 

In contrast, tough by circumstances people cannot understand tough by choice people at all and would not want to interact with them.

Tough by circumstances people do not value toughness at all, that is why tough by choice people do not appeal to them at all. Neither do they have wimpy people; in fact, they are more likely to be sympathetic to wimps that even normies.

Psychologically, tough by circumstances people either like people with similar dark and painful past or completely pure and innocent people. People with similar dark past can allow them to understand and relate to each other. 

On the other hand, pure and innocent people, who are completely not tough, can allow tough by circumstances people to forget about their painful past and indulge in a happier life. A Pollyanna style happy go lucky wonderland.

Tough by circumstances people can go two ways about living their lives. One it to salvage as much normality as possible. Reiji and Elen going to school is an example of that approach. In school they are not deadly assassins who killed countless people but rather simple students.

The other approach to indulge themselves and do what gives most dopamine and least pain. Some drink alcohol or do drugs. Others pursue more stable escapism, such as anime and videogames. Anything that helps forget pain is good. I personally favor this approach.

As they have not chosen toughness and this path in life but were forced on it. They do hate circumstances and people that made them so. 

For example, Lelouch hates Charles for exiling him to Japan. Reiji and Elen hate Scythe for forcing them to become assassins. Cal hates people who killed her sister as well as Reiji for failing to avenge her. Revy hates her abusive parents. Ciel Phantomhive hates people who ruined his family and reputation. I personally hate my parents and a country I grew up in, Russia, for making my life tougher than it needed to be.

They all seek revenge for the transgressions and insults, assailants committed against them. Most of the time resolution to this grunge can only be achieved through death. 

Sure, someone like Keyaruga managed a more elaborate and twisted vengeance, but for most people tricks such as his are impossible. It was not just about fucking Flare, but also about erasing all her memories, depriving her of comforts and conveniences of royal lifestyle and forcing her to live a life of a commoner, whom she only yesterday used to despise. It's not going to work without erasing memories and there is no readily available means of doing so.

Conclusion

Tough by choice and tough by circumstances are two fundamentally different types of people who will never be able to work together due to fundamental differences in their psychology and worldview.