Monday, February 5, 2024

Why People Do not Show Up to Your Invitations.

A response to this.

I guess I will offer a little bit of a critical opinion here:

1. Were you yourself nice enough person towards them personally? Have you done something good for them? Otherwise, why would they care for you or your relatives. Are you someone people actually want to be around?

2. Do you work in HR? People hate HR. They also hate real estate agents, job networks/jobactive providers, landlords and number of other professions. "Doing your job" is not an excuse here. On some jobs you serve your bosses and not clients, do not expect clients be happy about it.

3. They might want to get back at you for things you did to them that hurt them. Even if you are not aware of how you hurt them.

4. Austerity made life hard for many people, they will not want to just show up for someone's party who will be rubbing into their faces how good they are doing in this mess. That is tone deaf.

5. Do not invite people without kids to your child's birthday. They cannot understand your feelings as they have no their own kids.

6. Do not invite people, who hate their parents to your parents' celebrations. Same here: not everyone had loving family growing up, they do not want to remember problems they had with their own parents.

7. As much as you might care for your kids or parents, other people are not so much. As cynical as it sounds, they probably come for food and fun. Advertise these things and if they are good enough, more people will show up because they want some of it.

8. Finally world does not revolve around you and your relatives. Make sure it's about the crowd and something that will make them happy.

For reference I am a Millennial in my mid-late 30s.


A response to a comment:

if you have 20+ friends, then how well do you really know them? They are there just for the numbers. If you treat them as numbers, then why do you expect them to be more concerned about you. 

If you talked to a friend a couple of times, you will normally know a lot about them. At least you will get a basic idea what they are and where they are coming from. If you do not, then they are not really your friends. I do not have many friends as I do not just befriend anyone who comes my way. However I have good idea of what my few friends really like and up to.

Exact value does not matter. What matter is if they own a house in mortgage or otherwise as the opposite of renting a house or yet worse a room in a sharehouse. Renters often feel being second class citizens due to how most landlords and most real estate agents doing their jobs. 

If you will tell a guy, who was several times were evicted out of rental property by the landlords and real estate agents (sometimes for dubious reasons), that you own a home, he will envy you. Because unlike him you do not have to deal with real estate agents and landlords bs.

The other professions I listed as bad, are bad in their own way, read reddit if you want to know why.

In general, if you want people to like you, do not work in professions that hurt them personally in any way. If you make people's life harder in any way, they will hate you for that. Do not give people fines for violations, stop them from doing things, cancel their dole and so on. If you do any of the above, people will hate you for that and rightfully so.

Real estate agents too have to deal with conflict of interests between owners and renters. If you take owner's side on issues while being useless nuisance to tenants, like most REAs do, expect tenants to hate your guts. Here for example, search and find more.

job networks are also nothing, but annoying nuisance, so are ticket checks.

Lawyers are not hated here compared to America I would say. I guess few people had to deal with them and normally that does not get ugly in any way. I dealt with a lawyer once and he was very professional and helpful.

Once again realities or life and time in any said country determines what professions are hated and what are not.

One thing is if they know your mom personally and like her already for one or another reason. The other thing is when they only know you and you invite them for your mom's birthday.

Finally, just because you believe something is wrong, it does not mean that others think the same. That is how world is. Personal values differ from person to person. Their economic and social situation often determines what and who they support. 

Person who owns business wants to pay their employees less so that he can keep more of that profit for himself. His employees want him to pay them more so that they can have a better life themselves.

People who were raised by caring parents who did a lot for them and made their childhood awesome will love their parents. They will also think that other parents should be just as good as theirs were so they will enjoy joining celebration dedicated to someone else parent.

People who were raised by selfish and stingy parents who would give them little but expect a lot from them will in turn hate not only their parents, but often parent like people in general.


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