It's pretty clear, that marriage and relationships between genders are clearly not working in modern world. Current notions of how marriage supposed to work no longer work and a reform is direly needed.
Before I write about solutions, I will look back at history of marriage and relationship. 20th century idea that people should marry at around 18 years old to someone of the same age of themselves is more of an exception than a rule. Parents like the idea of such picture-perfect couple but this arrangement does not work for actual people in question.
Historically people married younger and there was often a significant age difference between man and woman. People like to bash Quran and Prophet Muhammad for marrying a 9-year-old girl, but Bible has plenty of similar examples. For modern person this looks like a paedophilia, but in the past, it was considered normal.
However, it's not that morals or ethics have changed, but rather we as people have changed. Over the course of last 2000 years that passed since Bible and Quran we as humans have evolved and changed, so we are no longer the same species we once were. Yes, that's as radial as it sounds.
Back in times of Ancient Egypt, average life expectancy was merely 25 something years old, hardly anyone lived longer than 35 years old. Yes, Ramses II lived to 90 but he was an exception. That does not however mean that people died young. That will be extrapolation of modern notions on the times past. Instead, ancient Egyptians lived faster. They grew faster, reached maturity faster, aged faster and died faster. Ancient Egyptians were considered aged at 35, modern humans are at 65 to 70. What takes modern human 70 to 90 years to complete and ancient Egyptian completed in just 30 to 40 years.
One may call ancient Egyptians a fast growing or early maturing, but back in the days, life was simpler and standards of maturity and adulthood were proportionally easier and simpler.
Nonetheless in ancient Egypt a person was considered sexually mature legal adult at 12. They married and had kids at around 15. They lived just long enough to see their kids reach adulthood, marry and have kids of their own before dying.
Other communities such Jews, also observed the same age frames. For example, Bar mitzvah is performed at 13 and signify coming of age. Modern notions see it as merely cultural ceremony that does not confer legal adulthood, but for ancient Jews that was equivalent of reaching age of majority: 18 years old, or 21 years old in the US.
If one is concerned that it was far too long ago, to know for sure, then I can bring a more recent historical data.
For example, during Middle Ages average King lived to 50, maximum 55 years long, but dying at younger age was common too. Commoners probably lived even less than that. Proportionally age of majority at these times was 15 years old and people married around 20, around middle of their age.
Even as recent as 300 years old, 15 was considered old enough to rule country and command a military. Good example is famous Carolus Rex. A recency consul due to his minor age governed until he turned 15. Afterwards he took reigns, ruled his country as executive monarch and gave orders to his military officers. He scored his actual military victories at age that by modern standards considered too young to drink beer. Needless to say, at 15 they will not let to enlist as private, much less give orders to Chiefs of Staff.
Carolus died in battle at 36 and his Great Northern War counterpart Peter the Great at 52, in his bed at perfectly normal age for a wealthy monarch with all the money for the best doctors there was back then.
In both Ancient Egyptian and Medieval examples short life expectancy meant, you need to marry and have kids earlier. However, people married not when they were adult enough to do it, but when they were close enough to death. Just enough to see them grow before you die.
Chances that you may die at any time made people think that they should have kids earlier just to make sure there is a posterity. Modern long-life expectancy in contrast make one think you can always do it later. If your parents and people much older than yourself are still around, then surely you will still be alive 30 years later and can always have kids then. Nothing to rush for.
Fundamentally children are there to replace those who died of old age. If they are not dying, then there is no room for children.
Since modern humans can sometimes live to 90 and even 100, all other milestones of life should proportionally extend further. After all it will not make sense that only retirement gets longer, meanwhile all others life milestones remain the same. Retirement by far the least important part of life so it will make no sense for it to get any longer.
If you take Ancient Egyptian timeframe and multiply it by 2 to 2.5 to match new life expectancy, then you get sexual maturity at 24 to 30, marriage at 40 to 45. However, that does not take into consideration how much time is needed to actually reach objectives of each segment of life. If anything, it's the middle part of life that gets longer and retirement remains roughly the same. Modern life is much more complex than what it was before, so more time is needed for a person to fully grow as adult and be able to have a family.
Parents should be obliged to support their children way into their 20s, 30s and even 40s. I guess social security is currently doing it for those parents who do not do so: pains of transitional arrangements to deal with double standard parents who research complex surgeries that could extend their lives another 5 years but want their kids to mature as early as possible so they have grandchildren.
Legal age works fine as it is, so we do not need to change it. Marriage however clearly isn't, so it should happen later in life.
When it comes to marriage in particular, Jeffrey Epstein methods work surprisingly well. Yes, he is a convicted sex offender, but as the song sings "new ways come in sin". Certainly, a section of society hates and despises him, but people who were involved with him were very happy, both older men who use his Lolita express to find themselves little girls and little girls themselves. All the so-called victims came to him willingly and knew fully well what they were signing up for, Jeffrey Epstein did not need to promise them candy in an unmarked white van, hit them unconscious and drag them into the van. The only reason he was convicted is because women were of too young age to consent, not that they refuse to go with him.
However here I will not leave it at just trust the Epstein on that one. I will logically explain why Epstein way works and modern equal marriage isn't.
The reason lies in female psychology. Women are meant to be led and controlled by men. Their psychology resists the idea of equal partnership where decisions are shared, their psychology constantly seeks a man who is stronger than her, someone who can lead her, not please her, not care for her, not serve her, but lead her.
Because of that women want a man who is superior to her in every way imaginable. They want someone who is bigger, older, richer, more experienced. That naturally pushes women towards older men.
Some men dismiss it as gold digging and say things like its only because he is rich, but that ignores the real psychological needs of a women. Even if 18 years old virgin had billions she would still pick 50 years old CEO. Even if 50 years old was poor, she would still go with him rather than with a young block of her age. That is how women are and ignoring this fact will cause even more unhappy marriages, bitter divorces, pain and misery.
It works the same way in reverse too. Men will always prefer young virgin 18 years old girl to an older and more mature women with experience, no matter how these lonely mature women lament this fact and call such men paedophiles. I will write about men later, now back to women.
Because of that she can never accept a man who is of the same age as her. Man, who knows only as much as she is and probably more childish and immature than she is can never command her respect. Because of that she will never be satisfied with him.
Sure, she may marry such a man of her age, but not because she loves him. She will marry him only because her dad or mom will tell her to. She will do it because she can acknowledge authority of her own parent. After all he is just that kind of older more experienced man, her psychology craves so she obliges and obeys his orders and marries a boy, daddy picked for her.
That does not result in a happy marriage however, just in happy dad. The girl in question will never be happy with the boy she married as her psychology demands a daddy, not a boy. A replacement to her actual dad in pretty much every way.
Thus, scandals and all sorts of marital drama ensure. She complains, throws fits, yells, cheats and goes completely hysterical all because she was paired with a someone who is not capable of being her husband all to please her parents who see them as picture perfect couple.
Other cultures, like Indians or Muslims do not do this to their daughters, they marry them up to men who are much older than themselves. As a result, their marriages are much more stable and fulfilled. Even with modern no-fault divorce available, they do not split up. Yet modern leftists persist with notion of marriage of the equals, despite all the evidence to the contrary.
Now on man side of thing. An average 18-year-old guy is completely unprepared to be a husband for several important reasons.
To begin with, unlike woman whose role is to marry and have children, a man's role was to be a provider. A provider means being someone in a community, having a job. Man's status in a society determined not by who he is married to but rather by his job, education and circle of friends. Learning a profession, cultivating friends and getting ahead in society is a complex and difficult task that takes a lot of time. Nonetheless men cannot bypass it as it is a path to success in life.
Alternative to it is a transient existence at the bottom of society with no money, status or connections. A typical dysfunctional family or alcoholic or drug addict dad and a prostitute mom. Most of them do not live long and those who do live do so with one leg in the grave.
Thus, an average 18-year-old man from a functional normal family is mentally geared not towards running a family but towards studying, socialising with friends and carving themselves a place in a society. Saddling them with a wife family will do them no good and will distract them from the objective that will actually determine their future success and failure.
Needless to say, a young man like that have neither time, nor the ability to actual be a husband. He has career to make, social ladders to climb, wealth to make and more. He has no time for a wife. Women instinctively feel it and repealed from them.
To make matters worse, an average 18-year-old does not even know what he even wants from woman. Sure, parents taught them something, but these things are fundamentally useless when it comes to real thing. Typical family raises boys to not be husbands and masters of the home, but footmen and servants to higher ups. Parents like image of a guy bending a knee to a "princess" and offering her "hand and heart" together with a wedding ring. However, this is but a silly and dangerous fiction that does not lay proper foundation for a successful marriage: remember that women are looking for a master, not a servant and men are never happy in a servant role.
Thus, young man has to spend quite some time in his adulthood to unlearn these things, his parents instilled in him, and reconnect with the actual role they were meant to play in a relationships and bedroom. All these things drive age, at which he is ready for marriage further and further away.
To make matters worse, bad economy, stagnant wages and stuck career progression only further push age of marriage for men.
By the time a man fully matures, gets clear idea what he wants from a marriage and a woman, reaches a boss stage in his career and makes enough money to buy a home and is finally ready for the family state of his life, he will be long in his 50s or even 60s.
Women cannot have children after menopause that happen when they are 46-year-old. However, this is not the only issue here. Just as much as women prefer older men, men prefer younger women. More mature women lament it as much as young guys lament their "gold digging" female peers who prefer 50 years old billionaires, but male psychology is just a strong of a factor as a female one, and it's geared towards younger = better. It's like brand new good are much more desired than secondhand ones and some used goods are too used to be desired at all.
Younger woman is fresher, more fertile and healthier compared to an old one. Each extra year of age and even each extra sexual intercourse takes away from her beauty, fertility, health and ability to nurture babies. A human body has limited lifespan and health. A baby in a young healthy women can drain more nutrients from her and thus grow bigger, stronger and better in every way. A baby, in an exhausted used and battered 40-year-old could not get nearly as many nutrients and thus will not be as healthy and successful. Thus, the younger the better is how men see and choose it. A simple biology.
Women can complain that it's unfair that men do not have that problem and only get more desirable as they age, but each gender is different and lives by its own logic and rules. Men too find it unfair that a fresh healthy 18-year-old cannot get a girl, who instead goes to some fossil with a wad of cash, but women do not sympathize with us on that.
Fundamentally it's a reality of each gender biology that men grow more desirable with each year they live, while women grow less and less desirable with each year they live.
Because of all of the above we have to stop denying the obvious and face reality. Women want older men and men younger women. Relationships between older man and a younger woman work and every other format does not. Thus, we have to accept that this is the way forward for our species and civilization at our current level of development.
Women should be told to preserve virginity and marry someone much older than herself with money and status, whom she can respect.
Men should be told to not think of marriage until they are much older and spend their youth on hobbies, friendship, career and education. For relationship with a female there are porn, anime, sex dolls or brothels.
That way we can finally leave dysfunctional marriages with its suffering behind and move on to colonise space and build robots.
