In a world where most of the time it is guy who struggles to get a girl while girls seem to have infinite options, Russian guys who avoid marriage like a plague seems like a strange exception. Other guys struggle to get anywhere with a girl who avoids commitment and keeps her options open. Russian guys instead dodge girls and marriages like their life depends on it while girls get out of their mind to figure out how to marry one. Why so different?
The answer lies in fundamental make up of society and demographic differences. In Western countries there are often more men and women and in Russia it's the other way around.
That root differences produces many other differences in societies, including even the fact that Western world is democratic, and Russia is autocratic. Male majority in the West makes sure society is governed democratically, female majority in Russia leads to strongman autocracy instead. It is not that Western men and democratic and Russian ones prefer strongman instead. Men in each of these societies prefer democracy, it is always women who prefer autocracy. Many Russian men migrating to the west or wanting to do so is the proof. Many Western women infatuated with Putin are also a proof.
Women vote in People like Putin and support people like Stalin. If only men could vote Grigory Yavlinsky would be president of Russia, no joke. If only women could vote in the West, then Nazis would rule again.
However, lets return to dating and relationship. In many, but not all, ways they also work like a mirror image of each other. Let's begin with the west.
In the West male majority sets standards of behavior and culture that make sense to a man. Freedom, respect for personal freedom, humanism, meritocracy and other Western values are enshrined in society only because men dominate these societies.
Young guys can easily accept these and most of the time have no problem fitting in. Women on the other hand are confused. What they are told right contradicts with their instinct. They respect rules but feel something is wrong. That is why they experience brain vs heart problem. That what leads towards dating problem, what society says is a good man is not what the girl herself thinks is. That is why she hesitates and delays marriage and relationship. Guys all want marriage and girls avoid it instead. Guys have to compete with each other and get out of their ways to win over a female.
Because culture in the West is set by men, then marriage terms are also made by man. They are terms men find meaningful and women not so much. Since men can find fulfilment in such marriage they pursue it. Since women cannot find fulfilment in it, they avoid it instead. Guys struggle to win her over and when they finally won, they kick back and relax, enjoying the ride with little effort. Sometimes that eventually leads to divorces as women got tired of housewife burden and decides to ditch it.
In the West women invent feminism, support socialism and do all sorts of stupid crazy shir because of how they could not accept the society they were born into.
Marriage and women are the only source of frustration to a western man. The rest of society works male way, and they are mostly happy. To avoid local problematic women, they sometimes marry foreign ones with varying results.
That sounds like a social and intergender problem. However, if things are reversed like in Russia, it gets even worse.
In Russia female majority influences culture and standards of behavior. Female love for a strongman leads to a lawless society where might makes right, violence glorified, and victims blamed for being weak.
In Russia women think all of the above makes sense and take pride that Russia is not like the West. Most men however cannot look at this Eurasian BS sober and become alcoholics or drug addicts. Many want to emigrate to the West, those who can, do so. There are some men who are OK with that, but most of them are bullies with near zero brain.
Desired male traits from female bucket list are pushed as standards of male behavior. Men are supposed to be this and that and what not. Be strong, punch others in the face to show you are strongest, that too. Men are blamed for everything, expected to do and know near everything, fix anything and not complain about anything. Broad society tends to agree with women and blame men, so men cannot get any help or support outside of their male peer friends. That makes male friendship important.
Because of that women want marriage more than anything else. They see it as free ride for life and kick back and expect men to do everything after marriage. Men on the other hand do not want it at all. In Russian culture men have all to lose and nothing to gain in a relationship or marriage. Thus, most stay away from it. It is women, who have to get out of their way to somehow win him over. That is why Russian women look so stunning that people in the West think they are so good. They however do not understand the underlying problem that led to this situation.
Many of those who end up in a relationship, eventually leave it. Unlike the West where there is custody battles as men typically do not want to be separated from kids, in Russia men just disappear and kids often do not even know him.
There are many single mothers in Russia, most kids are raised by single mothers. I know more families with single mothers than with both parents. Many of these single mothers work as teachers and even school principal of a school I graduated from is a single mother.
Single mothers then pass on their personal values on kids, only further entrenching female values as standards of society. That in turn lead towards more men becoming alcoholics as they could not accept it. It's a downward spiral of death.
Men in Russia try to escape Russian society with everything they can. Emigration, protest, political activism, alcoholism, drugs, videogames, anime anything. That however remains largely unnoticed.
Some of these Russian high standards do rub of off them, so women often find Russian men interesting. However Russian men are permanently traumatized by Russian culture and will not enter relationship easily. They do not want any problems that relationship Russian way brings, so they are very selective with partners. Most pick partners based on 'not like a Russian women' criterion. Russian men prefer, kind, caring, naive, stupid and easy women, all qualities lacking in Russian society in general. That often leads to either Latin (dumb and wild) or Asian (Japanese) (humble and polite) preferences.
What get noticed is that Russian women often seek foreign men. From a distance both look to each other as very desirable and eligible suitors. Western men are attracted to Russian women looks, Russian women like Western men money, quality of life and commitment to marriage.
Only after marriage, Russian women realize that Western marriage is much less of a free ride for women. They complain about Western men in private to their Russian female friends as in the West they do not have society on their side. Westerners would not find Russian women expectations reasonable at all and would see her as unreasonable, so they stay quiet. Some divorce Western men (particularly Finnish men) and take kids to Russia, but most stay in these marriages for good.
Overall dissatisfaction with 'situation as it is' leads to all types of people, mentioned above to seek something different from a foreigner that seems have the traits locals lacking.
Asia can solve our problems because it produces humble women we so need.
