Do you sill have them, True? Your dreams? TrueHellDei

 

True, do you still have that purity of yours? 

Back in the days you seem have not given up completely on searching for that something extraordinary. It is naive may be, but in a cute way.

I know you call yourself a cynical bitch, but that is because you can compare your actual self with your idealized image of yourself and self-aware enough to notice deficiencies of your actual self. 

Or more like you see deficiencies of this world and wish for a better one. I liked that about you back then but could not really put it into words. 

Fundamentally you are a dreamer.

I wanted to find these traits in someone else to replace you, however so far, I did not manage to find anyone else who also has it.

Other people seem to lack that kind of self-awareness. Nor do they even have that kind of idealize image of themselves.

That fact occasionally reminds me about you and makes me return to you again and again.

It does bewilders me to be so obsessed over some little girl from Szebna, or whatever you spell it, but you have that what others lack, and it just keeps brining me back to you, keeps pulling me towards you. 

Your existence defies logic in a way. Other people do not even believe you are real and think I made you up. That is how special you are.

Well, I would not say something like I will protect your innocence or these dreams of yours. Nor I will promise to make your dreams come true. This is not a fairy tale.

However, I will admit that I like you because you have not given up on these dreams. That is what makes you so lovable and I want to indulge myself in that dreamy gentleness of a better world that you so uniquely possess. Indulge until I get drunk with it.

That will sound like a lie at this point; however, I too wish for a better world. That is why I post so many angry posts on MAL about shit we currently have. I want to see this old shitty world swept from the face of the Earth and new better world built on its place. 

I hope you share this feeling with me as it could as well be that our visions of a better would are drastically different from each other. You did not talk too much about yours while I actually posted a number of blog posts but also other things about mine.

Finally, I have too much pride to say something like I love you. Who do you think I am to expect something like that from me? I hate losing almost on principle. Besides I intend to make fun of you for admitting it first.

Also, if it is you who stole my laptop, then give it back, you thieving cunt. I mean who else would steal it in a place like that in plain view of security cameras. She must have stalked me for some time to get it, sure that does not narrow it down to just you, but I got a feeling.